To See and Be Seen

It is a burden to be seen.

Does she stare at people too long because she is trying 
to see herself in their eyes?
And what does she see there?

It is a treasure to be seen.

In her I see
a brook, carving gently, slowly
Soothing with a crisp whisper
anyone who listens.
Or a birch sapling, opalescent bark
lending beauty to any who look.
Never demanding.

It is a burden to see

What lies behind a loved one and
What weight they carry still.

It is a treasure to see.

I want to take her to see
Outside herself.
Outside of me.
Outside of us.
The world and all its beauty,
All its kindness, not demanding.

And we will sit,
Hand in hand and both in wonder
While the wind runs through the birches
and we listen to the brook.

On my wife Catherine’s bedroom wall for years before she met me was the phrase “To See and Be Seen.” I took this as a prompt to write the above poem.

I am thinking about the beauty and terror of being seen, because I have just recorded the podcast episode I told you about previously. It went wonderfully. It was a great and fun conversation, and I’m glad to say that I have been invited back to record a second episode.

Yet there is a certain surrender in being perceived. It is opening oneself to the interpretation of others. This in turn initiates a feedback process through which the perception of others influences your own perception of yourself, which recursively influences others’ opinions, and so on. This is an essentially inevitable aspect of human experience. We are social creatures, and our perception of ourselves is influenced by our beliefs about others’ perceptions of us.

But if this process is noticed by both parties—this entanglement “at the margins” of self and other—then entering into the seeing and being seen is an act of love, of the intentional dance of mutual influence.

That is the energy I brought to the podcast today, and the energy that is carrying me through writing this. I’d love for this to be a place of mutual influence. My vision for this blog and website is that it can be a place for mutual engagement on ideas with a strong ethos of compassion.

If you are a regular reader, please feel free to share your thoughts anytime on anything that resonates with you or with which you disagree! You can always reach me on Twitter @TriuneMystery.

As always, thanks for reading!